The Best and Worst Part

Our USA Home

Our Costa Rica Home

I've had many thoughts going through my head about our time back in the States, so it's taken me a while to get this blog post out. Lots of people have asked how it "really" was going home for 3 weeks. Did it make me miss it? Did I want to come back? Isn't is so much cleaner? Aren't you glad you can flush toilet paper? Don't you love hearing English? And my favorite....Isn't life so boring here? (newsflash: life can be boring anywhere).

At the beginning of December, I got a message from a girl who asked what the best part of living in Costa Rica was. Honestly, this question took me back a bit. No one had ever asked me that. Everyone asks about how hard everything is, or what we miss the most, but not what we like the most. At this time I was being whiny and full of self-pity, so it really made me stop and think. What do I like best? I'll answer that in a little bit.

When we were in the States, the most common question I got was, "Aren't you just so disgusted at our American life and our stuff?" The truth is...no. It made me realize that our life is now in two completely different worlds, and that doesn't have to be bad. There just really is no comparison. Sin is sin, just like anywhere, but it manifests itself differently in different places. Costa Ricans love their stuff too, they just don't have as much of it. But it can still be an idol for them. Dishonesty is a huge issue over here...and it looks different than dishonesty in the States. But it's still sin. When we were home, we saw how huge so many people's hearts are. Yes, Americans are blessed with wealth, but it was neat to see how so many are using it for the glory of the Lord. We were not disgusted at all, but encouraged to see the people of God love kingdom work.

The biggest disadvantage I saw in the States was the feeling that I was in control...all the time. I had only been home a few days when this thought process set in for me. I had been gone for over 4 months, and it only took a few days for me to mindlessly go through life again. Without help. Without prayer. Without fear. Without thought. I did what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it. Period.

I think the best and the worst part of living here in Costa Rica is my constant awareness of my dependence on the Lord. It's amazing how transforming it can be to always be aware of the Lord's presence and to depend on Him in almost every situation in life. Whether it's talking to my neighbors, struggling through class, driving in a flood, or walking to school in lightning, I feel completely out of control at all times. This has made me have a consistency in prayer that I never knew before living here. It's so wonderful to be reminded of my need for Him (the best part), but also so humbling to know that I can't do anything (selfishly...the worst part).

I love my life here in Costa Rica. And I love my life in the USA. I'm realizing that I don't have to hate one to love the other, or be disgusted by one to enjoy the other. They are both equally part of my life now, and I want to rejoice in that. How grateful I am that God chose us to be missionaries! I love that my family now has a different perspective on life in general. We have realized that our dependence on the Lord is such an advantage and we talk about it often. And honestly, we also complain about it often. No matter how long we stay in Costa Rica, I know our life has changed forever. And I love that. The best and worst part.