One of the hardest things about being a missionary is always saying goodbye. I feel like for over a year now my life and relationships are in a constant state of change. For a while I would think...if I can just make it through this trimester...this month...this week....whatever. But then another huge change is just around the corner. The good side of this is it's definitely kept me in the present and has taught me not to stress out about the future. I find it funny when I meet new missionaries who ask what my long-term plan is...HUH? What in the world is long-term in this lifetime much less in this field of ministry? We live in Costa Rica for now...that's all I know. And I'm okay with that.
Language school was a crazy time that I will forever be grateful for but don't ever want to do again. Does that make sense? We bonded with these people because we adjusted and suffered together...and then we had to say goodbye. And saying goodbye to them is saying goodbye on this side of Heaven. When would our paths ever cross again? How do you do that? These people that completely understand everything about what we've been through during this whole process. It was difficult in a way I've never experienced before.
It started to make me weary. Why does everything have to change? Why does it have to be fleeting? Why does my life look different every day but seem so boring at the same time? Why do relationships have to end so quickly? Why do I have to make new friends again? Why? Why? Why?
The Lord quickly reminded me that nothing is certain in this life. We are tricked by thinking that it is. I should feel blessed that I got to know these amazing people and have this experience, because it could and probably will change again very quickly. I don't typically like change, but it's taught me to not be afraid of it anymore. Nothing tends to be as bad as I think it's going to be. The Lord knows me, knows my thoughts and desires...and genuinely cares about them. He WILL take care of me.
When I start to feel sorry for myself it's difficult to shake. Once I let the enemy in, he consumes my thoughts with lies before I even realize it. It's so strange to me how I can read Scripture and know who God is, but completely separate that knowledge from my own personal situations. I can feel so close to Him, yet so lonely at the same time. When I finally recognize what's really going on in my head, I pray for floods of thoughts of thankfulness and dwell on these things all day long (I seriously just go through list after list in my head). Of course, this also comes with dumping all my crazy thoughts on Will as well! Poor guy.
We have started meeting more missionaries here and even some new students that are just beginning their journey. I doubt we'll ever be as close as those we shared class time with, but I will enjoy the time I have with these new people before having to say goodbye....again.
I know that this past year was a time to treasure for our family.
And I'm so thankful for it.
The good and the bad.
My class of girls at our favorite restaurant...Denny's
Jennie - Costa Rica (only 1 hour from me...yay!)
Rhonda - Bolivia
Karen - Dominican Republic
Kate - West Virginia
Claudia - Mexico
Rosanne - Pennsylvania
Language school was a crazy time that I will forever be grateful for but don't ever want to do again. Does that make sense? We bonded with these people because we adjusted and suffered together...and then we had to say goodbye. And saying goodbye to them is saying goodbye on this side of Heaven. When would our paths ever cross again? How do you do that? These people that completely understand everything about what we've been through during this whole process. It was difficult in a way I've never experienced before.
It started to make me weary. Why does everything have to change? Why does it have to be fleeting? Why does my life look different every day but seem so boring at the same time? Why do relationships have to end so quickly? Why do I have to make new friends again? Why? Why? Why?
The Lord quickly reminded me that nothing is certain in this life. We are tricked by thinking that it is. I should feel blessed that I got to know these amazing people and have this experience, because it could and probably will change again very quickly. I don't typically like change, but it's taught me to not be afraid of it anymore. Nothing tends to be as bad as I think it's going to be. The Lord knows me, knows my thoughts and desires...and genuinely cares about them. He WILL take care of me.
When I start to feel sorry for myself it's difficult to shake. Once I let the enemy in, he consumes my thoughts with lies before I even realize it. It's so strange to me how I can read Scripture and know who God is, but completely separate that knowledge from my own personal situations. I can feel so close to Him, yet so lonely at the same time. When I finally recognize what's really going on in my head, I pray for floods of thoughts of thankfulness and dwell on these things all day long (I seriously just go through list after list in my head). Of course, this also comes with dumping all my crazy thoughts on Will as well! Poor guy.
We have started meeting more missionaries here and even some new students that are just beginning their journey. I doubt we'll ever be as close as those we shared class time with, but I will enjoy the time I have with these new people before having to say goodbye....again.
I know that this past year was a time to treasure for our family.
And I'm so thankful for it.
The good and the bad.
My class of girls at our favorite restaurant...Denny's
Jennie - Costa Rica (only 1 hour from me...yay!)
Rhonda - Bolivia
Karen - Dominican Republic
Kate - West Virginia
Claudia - Mexico
Rosanne - Pennsylvania
Rhonda and I enjoying a last dinner together...over a sushi roll at the mall
Our kids hanging out one last time
Will and Andrew - we became such good friends with their family
Me and Claudia
I'll really miss everyone
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